Chapter Thirty Seven

I never really thought of myself as an unlucky person.

Not until last month.

That was when my life did a cartwheel and everything became topsy-turvy. Here's why:


I. I LOST MY PENCIL CASE

I had been using that same pencil case ever since I was in 4th year high school. And apart from the 4G flash drive (which costs around P700, I think) which I left inside it, that gray case contains memories as well.

That was why I was so devastated when I realized that I had left it in History class. I never saw it again.

II. I DIDN'T GET TO REGISTER TO VOTE

This is mainly my fault. By the time I decided to pay the Municipal Hall a visit, the lines were long and unbearable. The people at the counter were impossible. The quota was filled. And the only way I could make it was for me to join the people who camped there at midnight.

So I went home and cursed my habit of procrastinating.

III. I DIDN'T GET TO PRE-ENLIST

If there's anything worse than not being able to register to vote, it is not being able to register and enroll on time. I would never forget the way the College Secretary shook her head at me disapprovingly and said those words that haunt me until now, "Late registration ka na."

This was also my own fault - for not being updated and timely.

Sometimes, I wonder if I deserve to be in U.P. I'm not at all excellent and I always have to keep up with my classmates. I feel slow, clueless and weak.

That's why up until now, my sembreak is filled with anxiety, fear and uncertainty. And what's left to do?

Well, there's only one thing left to do, actually, and that is to take all my fears, all my anxieties, and all my uncertainties and dump it on the Lord.

After all, He said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Chapter Thirty Six

The long absence speaks for itself. Unlike before, when I had all the time in world to breath and enjoy life, I haven't been able to post regularly these days due to several unavoidable changes.

THINGS THAT CHANGED

1. Residence


When I was enrolling for the first semester (of my second year), I was faced with four hours of traffic from Cavite to Manila. It was unbelievable. That's why my parents and I decided that it would be more convenient if I find myself a decent dormitory.

Dorm life is okay-ish. Since there are less distractions, I found more time to study. It also gives me more time to sleep and relax. On the downside, I am frequently homesick. At 18, I should act better, but I still crave the atmosphere specifically the fresh air of home.

2.Uniform

This is not merely a wardrobe emergency. The blue and white striped uniform also signifies duty time. I just finished community duty last week, but as tiring as it was, that was only the beginning of decades of care and service I will have to provide. The bottomline? I better get used to this. I will be doing this for the rest of my life. (Unless I retire early and go jetskiing in the Caribbean, but that's another story.)

3. Social Life

Unlike in high school, I am much quieter in college. Although I miss all the hype, I find comfort in peace and silence and "me time"- something which I had not felt since I was twelve.

THINGS THAT HAVEN'T CHANGED

1. My Sweet Tooth
Despite all the length of lectures on nutrition and the thickness of the Food Exchange List, I can't let go of my fondness for sweets. I fill my food basket with Meiji, Goya and all things sweet, rich and heavenly.

2. My Heart

There are some things that I just can't let go of.

THINGS THAT I WANT TO CHANGE

1. My Grades

No matter what I do, my intelligence cannot compare to those of my classmates'. I often wonder how I got into U.P. Maybe there was ANOTHER Julienne Tingzon - member of MENSA, performs with well-known quartets, and science prodigy all in one- who is despairing right now, wondering why the hell she wasn't accepted in U.P.

I have to squeeze out an extra gallon more of effort to memorize and understand concepts that my classmates immediately remember for the rest of their lives.

2. My Relationship

..With God. I admit that there were times, PLENTY OF TIMES, when I decided to ignore His voice. There were EVEN MORE TIMES, when I failed to put my trust in Him, and lived in a dark uncertainty. I hope that slowly but surely, I will find my way back to Him.

Chapter Thirty Five

Oh my nose.

I haven't blogged in such a long time. I had promised myself that I'd post an entry everyday, but I guess I wasn't being realistic then. Thoughts of hectic schedules and harrowing exams that could make your brain bleed and heart break hadn't crossed my mind.

Anyway, during my never ending journey of soul searching, I realized another trivial thing about me. Sometimes I feel fab, sometimes I feel zen.

Things I Do When I'm in the Fab Mood

I go to Booksale and other discount bookstores and buy year-old teen magazines(because they're cheaper)and spend the rest of my day "getting inspired" creatively.

I would go online and check out fashion blogs, celebrity gossip blogs and the such, trying to boost the glamorous vibe.

I would make a list of things I want to buy - from a Blackberry (or any other phone that has built in wifi) to a nice patterned top from Kamiseta to bronzers.

Things I Do When I'm in the Zen Mood

I go outside, grab my bike and ride around the neighborhood. If it weren't for the factory that coughs out toxic gases nearby, I could pretend I was cycling in the countryside somewhere in Tennessee.

I grab something refreshing, like a cup of ice cream or a small plate of my sister's chocolate chips and read a book.

I would go take my dog for a walk.

Anyway, I decided to change my layout to something wispy and elegant. I realized that my overall taste for things is always changing. Maturing? Improving? I don't know. I remember the time when I was into anything grunge rock, then I turned pirate, then I went Kawaii. Now, I'm a little floral...

Chapter Thirty Four

I've been so preoccupied with trivial things this holiday (i.e. PSP games like Bomberman, watching the Avatar finale, shopping, baking and cooking) that I hadn't had time to do the more important things (i.e. studying, MMDST).

I also hadn't had time to think up something worthy of writing about.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Chapter Thirty Three

Lazy people, like me, like to think – usually about things that could make life more convenient for us. I know it sounds a bit pessimistic, especially with the rise of technology and the emergence of cool gadgets (like my favorite – the vacuum cleaner). Life is already convenient, I know, but nobody said you can’t wish for something even better.

As a child, I used to watch futuristic fantasy shows like Mojacko and Doraemon. I was fascinated with some of the inventions popping out of Doraemon’s pocket, and even though I was aware that this is far from possible, I secretly wished these things were real.

Why? I want them to make life easier for me, of course.

Here are some of the gadgets I really, extremely, desperately wish I own.

GADGETS I REALLY EXTREMELY DESPERATELY WISH I OWN

1. STORAGE COMPACT MIRROR (from Akazukin ChaCha)
Get this. Imagine having one of those compact powders. You can open them up, direct them at an object, and tada! The compact sucks in the object, no matter how big it is, and stores it in! I think of this whenever I am lugging grocery bags or my schoolbooks.

2. ANYWHERE DOOR (OR ANY TYPE OF TELEPORTER) (from Doraemon)
Pull out a door, walk through it, and you’re wherever you want to be! This will really cut down your travel expenses and time. I think of this whenever I’m stuck in traffic or when I forget something at home.





3. DUPLICATING MIRROR (OR AN OBJECT XEROX MACHINE) (from Doraemon)
It not only copies paper, but objects too! The only set back would be that it might duplicate you, as it did to Nobita. (I watch too much Doraemon). I know this would break a lot of copyright and infringement laws. People might accuse you of stealing, especially if you “xerox” a limited edition item. But if you operate this discreetly and wisely, there will be little chance that other people would find out. It would come really handy when you want to produce an exact replica of that book you borrowed from someone.




These are just among my favorites. There are actually a lot more interesting gadgets in Doraemon. It’s a bit selfish, but I only want a chosen few to be bestowed with these gifts. Imagine if criminals get hold of the teleporter. Then they could casually walk into the Pentagon. Imagine if they get hold of the compact. They might be carrying bombs and we won’t know it, unless of course, a detecting system is also invented along with it.

I wonder if some of these items are already patented and we’re only a brilliant discovery short of an easy life.

But as for now, keep dreaming, Julie.